As I write I am full of so many emotions right now. This may be in part to my lack of sleep but mostly it is because big things are happening and about to happen in our family and change is coming. We have had so many questions from people and we love answering those. I will try to infuse this blog with resources for those who want to know more. We ourselves discover a new question every day in regards to this process. If we can help one person understand the importance of adoption and the love that is involved then we can happily answer. We don’t have all the answers though, nor does anyone really but we will surely try. Everyone is welcome to come learn along with us as we go :)
There have been some questions that seem to be injected with some disapproval or maybe just concern about our adoption. For example we can tell from some there is a fear of how this child will merge and impact our other children.Trust me, we have considered that as well and think of it often. It is a common fear we have had before. Doesn’t everyone when they add a second or third child to a family? You always worry how it will affect your other children. I did each time I birthed my last three. I worried so much how there would be enough love to go around. That is so funny now. I mean I could not ever imagine life without ALL my babies! What if I had let that fear keep me from having one of them? How horrible that would be to not have our life filled with little Baron or Lilly! This week we celebrated Isaiah’s 10th birthday! I stopped the adoption paperwork that day and just focused on him this week. I remember when I was pregnant with him I worried how Taylor was going to be affected, how I was going to love someone as much as I loved her, how I would share my time and love. I have learned so much since then. When I had that little guy my heart blew up! Taylor’s heart grew too! My fears were instantly gone. My heart just grows to some crazy exponential size each time I have found. At this point my heart is just about to burst. Often people see us out and say “You have your hands full huh?” I want to say if you think my hands are full you should really see my heart!
We know things will be different. We also know it will be a good different. We fully anticipate some adjustment time for this child and our other four. They are currently all THRILLED with the thought of getting a sister. They have begged for her for years! I know when she is here though there may be some of their own fears that crop up once reality is present. We are prepared to help them, to shower them in love, to answer their questions, and calm their worries. We have already begun to educate our children. We have told them about how attachment works, that we will need to cocoon ourselves for a while after she comes home, that she will be scared probably, that she may cry, and she may not want to play at first. We also told them not to give up. To keep hugging her, to keep trying, and one day when she is not scared anymore she will play and their sister will be their companion forever. I show videos to the kids about China, about adoption, about the orphans, and we talk about all these things. Our children are learning God’s word, living his work, watching unconditional love of another, and are growing to be compassionate, merciful, generous little children of God. We can not predict how the addition of a child to our family will look exactly once we emerge from our cocoon but we can guarantee there will be no less love and likely all of our hearts will grow and add another inside.
After a sleepless night, at five o’clock this morning I came across a couple videos I want share. They are such sweet examples of what adoption looks like for families. The first is about a couple who also felt called to adopt and explains overcoming obstacles along the way.
This one is a precious slide show of a family’s journey captured in pictures along the whole process. I should warn you to have the tissues ready. It is beautiful.
We are nearing the end of the home study process. Yesterday we had our first interview with our social worker. It went well. I had a list of things I needed to figure out and she answered all of our questions with what was obviously less stress than I had conjured up. She was wonderful really. Very reassuring, calm, and helpful. I am very thankful. We went over the paperwork we had sent thus far including letters from our veterinarian noting our animals are of no health risk to our children, criminal back ground checks, driving records, our autobiographies, employer letters, birth certificates, photos, our financial statements (which I totally messed up the math on!), the kids medical forms, and all of the signed documents for our state. What is left is our medical exams and the last educational course. Then we have another interview to discuss educational documentation components and lastly she will come to our home for a safety walk thru and interviews individually with all of us. Lilly does not have to be interviewed but Lilly has requested her own interview as well so we shall see :) Once we have our home study interviews, home walk thru completed our social worker will send us a draft, we will make change, they send it to our placement agency, they make changes, they send it to the home study agency, they make final edits, it is notarized, and then we get all the final copies to be sent to placing agency, immigration, the dossier, etc. Once this home study is complete we can send our I-800A form to immigration to get approval to be a family eligible to adopt. We can also apply for adoption grants which we are prayerful we will get to help with the expenses of the end of this process which is going to be another mountain to climb with that little mustard seed of ours. I am not worried though since this was our dream, our wish, but God’s direction we feel we can hurdle it.
Overall, our hearts are so vested in a child across the world. She is ours. We just have not met yet. This is hard for some to understand. I know and that is okay :) I didn’t expect to feel this strongly so soon either. I do though so forgive me if my answers, stories, or explanations about adoption are laced with passion. I am still learning how to answer “the adoption” questions. We even watched a course online about how to respond to some insensitive things. Here is a common one “Why China?” about Us vs. Them. I could not answer it better if I tried so I will just encourage you to read this blog. She is so spot on.
In the end we are all God’s children. We are all adopted. We all deserve love. Love crosses oceans and knows no boundaries.
Please keep lifting us up in prayer through these unknowns. We are so appreciative of the support we are getting!
“And not only for that nation, but to bring together and unite all the children of God scattered around the world.”
“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.”